10 weeks pregnant

Today marks 10 weeks of pregnancy.  It's an awkward spot in pregnancy- especially the fourth pregnancy.  Why?

For one, it seems that the bad early symptoms (nausea and super, super sore breasts) have passed.  At first thought, this seems like it would be a good thing- but, it means it's very easy to forget you're pregnant.  And when you forget, then there is that little voice that starts whispering terrible thoughts- what if something happened? What if the baby is gone?  At 10 weeks it's too early for a Doppler to hear a heartbeat- maybe not impossible, but it would likely not work, and then you'd be even more convinced that something is wrong!  10 weeks is far too early to feel any movement yet, so that's no help.  The only way to be sure that the baby is ok would be to have another ultrasound, and frankly, that would just be silly. So... we just try not to think about it, and assume that all is well and happening as it should.

At 10 weeks, especially with #4, I'm definitely ready for maternity clothes.  Well, I have been wearing regular waisted trousers to work and they are fine in the morning, but at some point in the day they just start feeling too tight.  It's no surprise to pop earlier with each pregnancy- but, the extra weight I've been carrying since BBV was born doesn't help either. 

Actually, in a way, it is helping, because, my tummy has simply assumed a pregnant shape for the last few years.  It's just how and where I carry it.  It's not unusual for me to be asked if I'm pregnant (because people still don't have manners- it's 2018! Get with it people!), but, I actually haven't had anyone really asking me since I've been pregnant because really, I don't look any differently than I have for the last 2 years.  I reckon it'll actually be fun to come back to school in August looking properly pregnant by then and surprise people who hadn't heard by then.

What else is there about 10 weeks... you feel better which makes you worry, it's too early to  hear or feel anything, it's nearly to the safe zone of the second trimester, when you feel confident going Facebook public, but, you still find yourself holding back just a little, just in case. 

Still very much looking forward to May 26, when we hope to see a tiny little alien Magic.